#21: Box Gap

 

 

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Ahem: More people ‘like’ the group ‘Box Gap’ on Facebook than the population of Tonga. In fact, more people ‘like’ it than the groups ‘Sekai Holland’ (winner of the Sydney Peace Prize 2012), ‘The Civil Rights Movement’ (fairly important), and ‘Feminism’ (fairly ironic) combined. 

115 000 people ‘like’ ‘Box Gap’. 

A box gap can be defined as “The gap between a woman’s thighs directly below the vagina, often diamond shaped when the thighs are together. Also called a thigh gap.” Urban Dictionary, luckily, also includes an example of the usage of the term ‘Box Gap’, probably because the individuals most likely to use it are bound to be complete idiots, with: “Man, that chick has a hot box gap” (I can guarantee that the guy who says this doesn’t have a girlfriend, and is a creepy pervert with an excessive amount of fat between his legs, but a very impressive gap between his ears).

This whole Box Gap debacle is problematic for mankind for a few reasons. Most simplistically, 115 000 people are literally making the effort to click a button to like…nothing. It’s a gap. There’s nothing there. Yay! The most admired part of my body is a part that doesn’t exist. Not my eyes or my mind or even my little toe, but the nothingness between my thighs. So much to live up to! I mean as a civilisation, over the past two million years, we haven’t really liked/respected/valued women much, but explicitly saying that our favourite part of them is something that doesn’t exist? Well now, that is not very nice. 

Secondly, the ideal female figure is already not functional. If we had the proportions of Barbie (Man, now THAT chick has a hot box gap) we would have chronic diarrhoea and serious internal injuries from the weight of our abnormally large breasts, and a waist so tiny that we would have to compromise on just a few necessary organs (like kidneys or a liver!) BUT……we would have the sickest Box Gap. Like we’re talking, posting a photo on the page, getting 300 ‘likes’, and comments such as “Now that is nice my cock will fit just wright” <——- (no, thats actually a direct quote go look it up). No wonder Martin doesn’t ‘like’ the Civil Rights Movement, he can’t spell it, the poor thing. The Civil Wrights Movement probably has 116,000 ‘likes’, we’ll take back our judgmental attitude – they know wright from wrong. Clever boys. 

Thirdly, I was already self conscious about: my height, my weight, my hair colour, my skin colour, my bust, my complexion, my body hair, my muscle definition, my tummy, my bum, my freckles, my hips (generally any sign that I’m a woman and not a pre-pubescent girl), and now, my box gap. This is the last thing they could possibly bring up; hence, the end of the world. 

And wait no, it’s not just the fundamental presence or absence of a box gap that makes you sexually desirable (every woman’s only ambition in life), but there are standards of box gap quality. You can have a wide, heart, diamond, missile, silver OR complete gap. It can also be measured, so a five inch gap is like, totally, the ultimate. But don’t try too hard or they will start calling you a “bag of bones” and demanding you get some “meat on that gap!” but at least they give constructive criticism “do squats for six months and then re-post”. SO grateful for that advice, in six months I will be everything I ever wanted to be. 

It has been suggested by psychologists that one of the reasons rates of Depression increase more in girls than in boys as they grow into adolescence, is because the female body uncontrollably develops further away from the ideal: hips, fat on the stomach and thighs, whereas the male body grows towards what males ideally aspire to be: muscular, tall, broad shoulders, facial hair.  Uh oh, so what happens when what men are socialised to desire is actually unnatural, or completely contrary to the norm? BOOM: end of the world. 

What’s pretty funny though is the fact that one of the reasons women tend to live longer than men, is because of that fantastic fat we carry around these areas. It has been found that people with big thighs have a lower risk of heart disease and premature death than those with thin thighs. A certain amount of fat at the very top of the thigh (which is absent when a “chick has a hot box gap”) is the most protective factor. So as much as we’d like to throw around the terms ‘sexualised’, ‘objectified’, ‘commodified’, ‘misogynistic’, ‘subordination’, ‘victimisation’, and talk about the implications these have for ‘violence’, and ‘deeply ingrained oppression’, ’til this blog gives us no more space to write, we are choosing to simply acknowledge that the aspiration and admiration for box gap could be responsible for our impending doom. 

SO when more people ‘like’ the photo above than ‘like’ Sekai Holland, who advocates peace in Zimbabwe and has been a vital proponent in ending apartheid in South Africa, and fighting for women’s rights and democracy, it seems the world is out of balance. The more we look into that mystifying nothingness between a woman’s legs, and define half the population in terms of their box gap or lack there of, the more we are calling them just that: nothing. So we personally would welcome those alien-zombies with open arms into planet earth, and we’re sure they would laugh (or their species equivalent) at the total crap we worship. 

 

*Note: Sekai Holland does not have a box gap. Maybe if she did she’d get more likes. 

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